The One Who Loves More

Everyday I ask myself why I love so much. Why do I care so much? Why can I not be as heartless as him? Because then it wouldn't hurt so bad. The one who cares is always the one who ends up hurt. The one who dedicates themselves, the one who is faithful, is always the one who ends up being betrayed. Why? 

I've been asking myself everyday and in the end I still have no answers. So many years of giving some one my all, fighting for love, respect, some sort of sympathy, to end up with nothing. To end up married but alone. Married but alone? Hmmm ... What a good way to explain my life right now. Married to a man who isn't in it for me, isn't married to me for love, he is in it for himself. Not because I make him happy, because I'm security, I give him that family image he wants to protray. 

I'm the one who ends up alone. I'm the only one who isn't getting what they need. A husband that acknowledges them. A husband that would do anything for them. A husband that when driving home from work thinks of them. 

The conclusion of my love story is already set in stone. I love a man who does not love me back. I love a man who loves them self more. 

Why don't I leave? Because I love this man more then life and I do not know how to be with him or without him. 

How do you live knowing the only person you truly loved and trusted was betraying you all along?

How do I learn to make myself happy without relying on his love or faithfulness?